I Am Moving..

I love my progress so far.. I have been conquering this innate feeling for a special person for quite some time now. It's not beacause I am not ready yet, but It's just that I know when to invest on something and what is feasible or not. They say that love is not about expecting but giving, you must give yourself without waiting anything in return. But I have realized that when you are giving something, you are not actually expecting in return, you are actually NEEDING part of your love be backed and we cannot help it. WE are needing their love to give more. That's the way it should be. 

To give you guys (those who don't know me personally) a short story of this drama, I have a special friend whom I considered really special, special to a point that I considered our relationship as more than friends but less than lovers. That's actually what others called a Pseudo-Relationship. In this relationship, there's this relationship without commitments, but It was never a no strings attached drama because, A pseudo-relationship is just lacking a communication with a real score for so many reasons. At first, I find myself contented in this set-up. Whenever friends ask me who is he, I say "just a friend" and there's smile in my face making them believe that there's more  in "us" than meets the eye. Oh I'm sorry I used the word "us" (there's actually no "us" yet in this relationship). You would probably asked me now, then what goes wrong to break this love now? Suddenly, he changed and he found another one. Suddenly, the question of "us" seemed to be obscure. Since there was no clear communication of our real score, I have no right to demand. I am not in the position to make an argument and to ask at least for his time. It is the batle between me and my feelings just me and me. I was just a became a choice. I was nothing now. I felt like I am just a thing that he has once played.

Sometimes, when we are in love we are blinded by the joy and happiness it brings to our life and that what makes our life complicated. We actually seeing the complications that it may bring but we just never mind it. I have made it as a choice somehow, sometime. I actually enjoyed the "present moment" and then bahala na.. But I found myself hurting myself more badly. Ganun talaga, The road to hell is paved with good intentions and when you are victimized by these fake stones and shining metals you will just find yourself pitying because what hurts the most is being so close just close period. 

Letting go is not just setting the other person free, but it is also setting yourself from all the bitterness, hatred, and anger that you keep in your heart.Sabi nga ni Whitney Houston "Learning to love yourself, It is the greatest love of all."

I decided to stop this foolishness. The greatest mistake we'll make in a relationship is when we look at somebody else other than our partner to satisfy our emotional and physical needs, The second mistake is when we consciously allow ourselves to be the object of these emotional and physical desires. Never allow anyone even if that is the person you love the most.

Until now, I am happy that I was able to conquer this emotions little by little. I know time will surely heal all the bruises in my heart. After all, God has never given us problems we cannot bear. And I know, there is a right person for me, and maybe it is not just the right time. Whoever you are, I will wait for you. :D